How do Christians deal with meddlesome parents and in-laws without dishonoring them?

As soon as a couple says, “I do,” on their wedding day, they gain more than a new spouse. Their marriage increases their family to include in-laws. Having a new set of parents can be a wonderful experience, and many people develop close ties to their in-laws. Consider the close bond between Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:6). Yet it is also a transition that can be fraught with conflict and turmoil.

All parents feel some reluctance to let their children go. But if the apron strings are not cut, the new bond between spouses can be damaged. There is a sacred circle that should be around every home, and parents should not tamper with the union that exists exclusively between husband and wife. Parents should respect these boundaries and not tread where they are not invited.

Your goal as parents was to raise an adult, not keep your son or daughter in a state of being a dependent child. Here are a few suggestions: Pray for the spouses of your children, accept who they are, and only give advice when asked. Don’t put your expectations on them, and allow them to make mistakes. Remember that you didn’t raise a perfect child either.

But the married couple can also help in these situations by being patient. First, remember that your in-laws are not your parents, and don’t put unrealistic expectations on them. Seek to understand their perspectives, and don’t try to change them. Set healthy boundaries and have your spouse help out. The Bible says, “If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Romans 12:18).

There is a separation between parents and children that God ordained in the beginning. Jesus repeated this guide, as did the apostle Paul: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). It would be well for parents and in-laws to respect God’s counsel.

Key Bible Texts

And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; (1 Thessalonians 4:11 KJV)